Friday, March 24, 2006
If anyone sees the VP, here are his needs
From NYT:
At least that was the evidence from "Vice Presidential Downtime Requirements," the heading of a document posted Thursday on the Smoking Gun Web site and confirmed as authentic by Mr. Cheney's office.
The document listed 13 requirements. Among them were these: All televisions sets in Mr. Cheney's hotel suite should be tuned to Fox News, all lights should be on, and the thermostat set at 68 degrees. Mr. Cheney should have a queen- or king-size bed, a desk with a chair, a private bathroom, a container for ice, a microwave oven and a coffee pot, with decaf brewed before arrival.
The vice president should also have four cans of caffeine-free Diet Sprite and four to six bottles of water. He must have the hotel restaurant menu, with a copy faxed ahead to his advance office. If his wife is with him, she should have two bottles of sparkling water, either Calistoga or Perrier.
For his reading material, Mr. Cheney should have The New York Times, USA Today, The Wall Street Journal and the local newspaper.
Additionally:
For potential organ replacement Mr. Cheney should have 4 humans and 2 baboons standing by, preferrably in cages (that goes for both species of primates).
The Vice President should also have an autoloading short recoil operated shotgun by his bed. A pump action would require to much forearm strength and would not provide the VP with an almost effortless headshot that an autoloading Remington would.
It was revealed that at one point in time Mr. Cheney had requested baby giraffes because he enjoys the snapping sound emitted when he breaks their necks with his bare hands. Logistically it became too daunting because the calves could not fit into the cargo bay on Air Force 2.
At least that was the evidence from "Vice Presidential Downtime Requirements," the heading of a document posted Thursday on the Smoking Gun Web site and confirmed as authentic by Mr. Cheney's office.
The document listed 13 requirements. Among them were these: All televisions sets in Mr. Cheney's hotel suite should be tuned to Fox News, all lights should be on, and the thermostat set at 68 degrees. Mr. Cheney should have a queen- or king-size bed, a desk with a chair, a private bathroom, a container for ice, a microwave oven and a coffee pot, with decaf brewed before arrival.
The vice president should also have four cans of caffeine-free Diet Sprite and four to six bottles of water. He must have the hotel restaurant menu, with a copy faxed ahead to his advance office. If his wife is with him, she should have two bottles of sparkling water, either Calistoga or Perrier.
For his reading material, Mr. Cheney should have The New York Times, USA Today, The Wall Street Journal and the local newspaper.
Additionally:
For potential organ replacement Mr. Cheney should have 4 humans and 2 baboons standing by, preferrably in cages (that goes for both species of primates).
The Vice President should also have an autoloading short recoil operated shotgun by his bed. A pump action would require to much forearm strength and would not provide the VP with an almost effortless headshot that an autoloading Remington would.
It was revealed that at one point in time Mr. Cheney had requested baby giraffes because he enjoys the snapping sound emitted when he breaks their necks with his bare hands. Logistically it became too daunting because the calves could not fit into the cargo bay on Air Force 2.
