Friday, June 16, 2006
Sardinia: Bloated with Gloating
It has come to my attention that small minority of the readership of this better-than-you-in-all-ways-but-height blog feel that the quality of the material has been slipping. Perhaps the content has been a bit weak of late. Maybe I'm not giving the people what they want? So you went to sterngitsrun and didn't like what you read. Felt it wasn't even worth the key strokes and clicks you used to navigate here. There have been some political posts of late and nude pics are at an all time low. I know my readers. They hate words and eat up areola. Fair enough. I am on the road to improvement.
But the blog still may need a kick in the rear, maybe even the crotch. It is time to take marketing advice from one of the greatest American products ever, Hulk Hogan. When the Hulkster's career began to slip and Vince McMahon decided to be a bitch and disown him, Terry Hogan reinvented himself. He went from good to bad to become Hollywood Hogan. Let me be the first, at least for the next week, to welcome Hollywood Stern. You turned me. I shall turn back to the good side (like Hogan) once I have repaird the moral of my readership. So for the next week stay with me. And again, I can't stress enough that I just spent 5 nights on a beautiful island with my woman, enjoying the food, wine and straight-up getting my paradise on.
The fun hasn't stopped. Over the last 7 days I have gone to a concert featuring THE greatest rock hard rock band ever, an off the hook party with the lax team and have attended the United States first World Cup game in Germany. The best part is, I will post, describe and we will all share in it together.
The other best part is that I'm doing all this. I am peaking, I recognize that.
Wasn't I reviewing Sardinia? Yes I was. It's great. It's beautiful. The food excellent. The wine outstanding.
How's this for a starter story? As Betty and I walked the beach shown below on our first full day, we happened upon a boat being paddled by 3 naked women. That's correct. Betty was kind enough to direct my attention in time for me to see them playfully jumping off the side of this blessed vessel in the buff. Some were sunbathing, others paddling the boat with their feet (close to bad naked, but good from 50 yards). Not only did I witness this erotic spectacle first hand, I watched without reprimand from the prancing nymphs or my own bird. Sadly I failed to capture this image on film, but rest assured there were 6 breasts, slender bodies and plenty of booty. Stern: A young jew's erotic journey from London to Alghero
The other benefit is that I speak no Italian, Betty does. I successfully removed myself from society. I pointed at things I wanted; wine, more bread another one of those ham hocks for the road. That is vacationing.
Most days were spent wandering the town and beaches. I have never moved slower for 5 days of my life than during my tenure in Alghero. Nobody does anything quickly. Except driving is a different story. Anyone who has driven in Italy can attest that your life is in danger if you get on the road. I rented an awesome Fiat. wait for laughter and continue...
Let's say I was getting passed by minivans, delivery trucks and motocycles from 1943. Pretty sure some one on a wheelchair blew by me. It took some time for me to realize I drive like a bitch and apparently walking speed inversely correlates to driving speed.
Below are a few pics from the trip set to the chorus from Snoop Dogg's Nuthin But a G Thang
It's like this
and like that
and like this
and uh
and we ain't got no love for ho's
so just chill
to the nex episode...
(the cigar took me 2 days to smoke)
Now that's realer than real-deal Holyfield
Holla
But the blog still may need a kick in the rear, maybe even the crotch. It is time to take marketing advice from one of the greatest American products ever, Hulk Hogan. When the Hulkster's career began to slip and Vince McMahon decided to be a bitch and disown him, Terry Hogan reinvented himself. He went from good to bad to become Hollywood Hogan. Let me be the first, at least for the next week, to welcome Hollywood Stern. You turned me. I shall turn back to the good side (like Hogan) once I have repaird the moral of my readership. So for the next week stay with me. And again, I can't stress enough that I just spent 5 nights on a beautiful island with my woman, enjoying the food, wine and straight-up getting my paradise on.
The fun hasn't stopped. Over the last 7 days I have gone to a concert featuring THE greatest rock hard rock band ever, an off the hook party with the lax team and have attended the United States first World Cup game in Germany. The best part is, I will post, describe and we will all share in it together.
The other best part is that I'm doing all this. I am peaking, I recognize that.
Wasn't I reviewing Sardinia? Yes I was. It's great. It's beautiful. The food excellent. The wine outstanding.
How's this for a starter story? As Betty and I walked the beach shown below on our first full day, we happened upon a boat being paddled by 3 naked women. That's correct. Betty was kind enough to direct my attention in time for me to see them playfully jumping off the side of this blessed vessel in the buff. Some were sunbathing, others paddling the boat with their feet (close to bad naked, but good from 50 yards). Not only did I witness this erotic spectacle first hand, I watched without reprimand from the prancing nymphs or my own bird. Sadly I failed to capture this image on film, but rest assured there were 6 breasts, slender bodies and plenty of booty. Stern: A young jew's erotic journey from London to Alghero
The other benefit is that I speak no Italian, Betty does. I successfully removed myself from society. I pointed at things I wanted; wine, more bread another one of those ham hocks for the road. That is vacationing.
Most days were spent wandering the town and beaches. I have never moved slower for 5 days of my life than during my tenure in Alghero. Nobody does anything quickly. Except driving is a different story. Anyone who has driven in Italy can attest that your life is in danger if you get on the road. I rented an awesome Fiat. wait for laughter and continue...
Let's say I was getting passed by minivans, delivery trucks and motocycles from 1943. Pretty sure some one on a wheelchair blew by me. It took some time for me to realize I drive like a bitch and apparently walking speed inversely correlates to driving speed.
Below are a few pics from the trip set to the chorus from Snoop Dogg's Nuthin But a G Thang
It's like this
and like that
and like this
and uh
and we ain't got no love for ho's
so just chill
to the nex episode...
(the cigar took me 2 days to smoke)
Now that's realer than real-deal Holyfield
Holla
