Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Where have I been?
Everywhere really. Not blogging.
To be honest, a lot of the delay is Blogger's fault. Due to technical difficulties beyond my control, I have been unable to post pictures, thus rendering some of the posts I've had useless. Who wants to read when can just look at stuff. This blog started with nothing but text and a J-Crew pic of yours truly - no need to start progressing now.
Regardless, the tech issues have enraged me. Angry. Angry like why the District's income tax is 9% and VA's is 5.8%. This gives me one more reason not to move back into that toxic dump of crime and higher costs.
That said, the first trip back to the motherland in 6 months was great. The flight home was miserable but Betty greeting me with a Burrito Ultimo from Baja quickly rectified the situation. The first few days back in VA were spent repatriating at casa Alvarez. Then a quick trip to the real mothership Harrisburg (H-BLING) left me grateful to see my family. I knew everything was going to be all right when...
Avoided the 4th of July scene in DC like my test results after a weekend in Amsterdam. Instead I enjoyed some excellent guac, some PA beers and caught a movie with my sister and her "better half" - we saw Wordplay, the documentary about the NY Times crossword puzzle and the people who competively do them. You know the types, the quietly smart, the ugly, the girl at school you never talked to cause her head gear created a perimeter of 3 feet around her jaw. Also the very same people today who probably have accumulated prodigious amounts of wealth through saving and not having friends to spend money on.
July 5th meant only one thing - crabs with the Scatman. That really must sound weird to about 98% of this blog's readership. Oh well. It means I was in Annapolis eating seafood with old friends, talking shit and not catching fish.
The 6th I joined the Capitol Police's finest collection of hasbins for a Nationals game. Hi Pat.
Friday was spent prepping for the week's main event, the Lamb Roast (yes worthy of caps) held on my family's farm that Saturday. The Roast is deserving of its own entry and it will get one soon. Pics def necessary to explain the event. If you didn't make the guest list, think about why.
Sunday I remember a tinge of a hangover setting in.
Monday I went into the office to remember what cubes smell like.
Tuesday the 11th I was off to the rock.
Flight back to the UK was a gem. Sat next to a portly Indian (curry not casino) in her mid 50's on the way back. Somewhere over Greenland we were exchanging phone numbers and by the time we got to terminal 4 in Heathrow, we departed with a hug. It was really weird. Although I'm pretty sure I scored. She also offered to drive me to Costco if I ever needed anything. I told her I only buy chicken tikka by the plate, thanks.
One of the highlights since my return has been driving a manual transmission on the wrong side of the road on the wrong side of the car. Nothing better than looking up and to the right for your rearview and seeing nothing but door. I also enjoyed the fact that I drove in the England. It's like a skill set. For a really really pathetic resume - don't think I won't add it.
"So Mr. Stern we understand you lived and worked in England for a year."
"Oh yes Mr. Paymemoremoney, I did. In fact I even drove there."
"Well done. I can tell you're going to be a star here."
THAT'S WHY YOU GO ABROAD.
That, and because you'll be that much closer to go places like Iceland for bachelor parties. Oh did I mention, that starts Thursday night.
Yes you can shoot reindeer there. I look at it as revenge for years of audible persecution via christmas carols/songs/rings.
Oh plus my buddy Mike's getting married and we're going to rip shit up. I'll stop using that phase when I turn 27.
To be honest, a lot of the delay is Blogger's fault. Due to technical difficulties beyond my control, I have been unable to post pictures, thus rendering some of the posts I've had useless. Who wants to read when can just look at stuff. This blog started with nothing but text and a J-Crew pic of yours truly - no need to start progressing now.
Regardless, the tech issues have enraged me. Angry. Angry like why the District's income tax is 9% and VA's is 5.8%. This gives me one more reason not to move back into that toxic dump of crime and higher costs.
That said, the first trip back to the motherland in 6 months was great. The flight home was miserable but Betty greeting me with a Burrito Ultimo from Baja quickly rectified the situation. The first few days back in VA were spent repatriating at casa Alvarez. Then a quick trip to the real mothership Harrisburg (H-BLING) left me grateful to see my family. I knew everything was going to be all right when...
- my grandmother made some noodle pudding - that's jew food you can't find in the UK
- my father got into an argument with one of the native grocery store clerks
- i went to the local cinema to catch the new Superman movie and there were 3 fat Harrisburgians bubbling in the front row in front of me. they actually stuck their arms out in Superman fashion when the theme song was played. just because you've had massive weight gain doesn't mean you just fold and climb the d-bag ladder. i used to be fat and i don't think i became any more toolish. i was just hungry.
- the power went out for 18 hours on my block
Leaving Harrisburg in perfect working order, Beatrice and I returned to the steaming pile known as the District. It was literally steaming.
From there several nights were spent in the Omni Shoreham hotel courtesy of the Firm. Thanks Firm. Nice hotel except for the tiny ass elevators carrying way too many people. Plus I'm pretty sure the footstool in my room had actual feces smeared on it. Not my own. Mine's green.Avoided the 4th of July scene in DC like my test results after a weekend in Amsterdam. Instead I enjoyed some excellent guac, some PA beers and caught a movie with my sister and her "better half" - we saw Wordplay, the documentary about the NY Times crossword puzzle and the people who competively do them. You know the types, the quietly smart, the ugly, the girl at school you never talked to cause her head gear created a perimeter of 3 feet around her jaw. Also the very same people today who probably have accumulated prodigious amounts of wealth through saving and not having friends to spend money on.
July 5th meant only one thing - crabs with the Scatman. That really must sound weird to about 98% of this blog's readership. Oh well. It means I was in Annapolis eating seafood with old friends, talking shit and not catching fish.
The 6th I joined the Capitol Police's finest collection of hasbins for a Nationals game. Hi Pat.
Friday was spent prepping for the week's main event, the Lamb Roast (yes worthy of caps) held on my family's farm that Saturday. The Roast is deserving of its own entry and it will get one soon. Pics def necessary to explain the event. If you didn't make the guest list, think about why.
Sunday I remember a tinge of a hangover setting in.
Monday I went into the office to remember what cubes smell like.
Tuesday the 11th I was off to the rock.
Flight back to the UK was a gem. Sat next to a portly Indian (curry not casino) in her mid 50's on the way back. Somewhere over Greenland we were exchanging phone numbers and by the time we got to terminal 4 in Heathrow, we departed with a hug. It was really weird. Although I'm pretty sure I scored. She also offered to drive me to Costco if I ever needed anything. I told her I only buy chicken tikka by the plate, thanks.
One of the highlights since my return has been driving a manual transmission on the wrong side of the road on the wrong side of the car. Nothing better than looking up and to the right for your rearview and seeing nothing but door. I also enjoyed the fact that I drove in the England. It's like a skill set. For a really really pathetic resume - don't think I won't add it.
"So Mr. Stern we understand you lived and worked in England for a year."
"Oh yes Mr. Paymemoremoney, I did. In fact I even drove there."
"Well done. I can tell you're going to be a star here."
THAT'S WHY YOU GO ABROAD.
That, and because you'll be that much closer to go places like Iceland for bachelor parties. Oh did I mention, that starts Thursday night.
Yes you can shoot reindeer there. I look at it as revenge for years of audible persecution via christmas carols/songs/rings.
Oh plus my buddy Mike's getting married and we're going to rip shit up. I'll stop using that phase when I turn 27.
